The Emotionary No. 7 - Frustrated. A CBT Perspective

Frustrated

[fruhs-trey-tid] adjective

Frustrated is like wood spitting in a log-burner. It wants you to open the door to let in more oxygen so that it can breathe freely and blaze. But the glass door traps it in place where it can only hiss and cackle inwardly, subsuming itself with its own heat. Glaring and flaring for a second, then melting back to an inward burn, a never-quenched yearn.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help to process frustration by breaking the cycle between our automatic thoughts, emotional reactions, and behavioural urges or reactions. When we feel frustrated, it is often triggered by an underlying belief or assumption that things should be going differently. Commonly, this assumption or belief leads to unhelpful thinking patterns such as: "Nothing ever works out for me.” or "This is a complete waste of time." CBT strategies can teach us to pause and examine these beliefs and assumptions more objectively. By doing this, we learn to notice and challenge our rigid expectations and replace them with more flexible, and ultimately realistic perspectives. If we are able to reframe our thoughts from: "This is ruining my day.” to "This is really annoying, but I can handle it,” we effectively lower the emotional ‘volume’ of the frustration. This shift in perspective can help prevent our autonomic nervous system from going into a ‘fight-or-flight’ response, allowing us to respond to the all too regular frictions within daily life with a calm, problem-solving approach, instead of explosive anger. For those with who find emotional regulation challenging, whether because of difficult personal circumstances, an overbearing boss, the impulsivity of ADHD etc., self-regulation strategies taught in CBT can be life changing.